Ramifications of Educator Sexual Misconduct

I. Your first job, first.    

For teachers, and all others, it is important to stay in your job, stay close to your
expertise.  This is the area for which you are trained, this is the information/activity for
which the youngster is seeking communications with you.

A.  Avoid counseling.           
    1. lack of training            
    2. emotional traps  

To go into areas such as counseling, even on a superficial level, is to invite danger.  For
one, teachers have a lack of training in the counseling domain.  “Kiddy Psyche,”
Sociology 101, and Classroom Management fall well short of providing ethical
guidelines, at least the education in the last part of the 60's did.  Those of us trained for
the classroom in that era were left to our own moralistic and ethical mores.  Society had
prepared us through the growing-up years and through examples how to live as
mature, contributing adults.
The emotional traps in counseling that exist for the untrained are issues that beg
attention.  The emotional make-up of mankind, especially the males, is strongly sexual.  
Coupled with an emotional attachment, deviant or otherwise, the combination gives
challenge to an already ill-defined “red line” that exists between adults and potential
victims of sexual abuse.  

B.  Avoid personal/intimate topics

By avoiding personal/intimate topics the danger of straying into an emotional
attachment is considerably lessened.  It is all too easy for teachers, clergy, and scout
leaders, to be the supporting listener for any troubled youth.  And once the listening
begins, it is an issue of the heart; the self-discipline to terminate and to leave the
troubled youth without the obvious support is difficult.  Yet if some break is not made,
subsequent sessions easily follow.   

II. Role of others- counselors/teachers/family.

Adults must be quick to recognize the role of others- counselors/teachers/family.  The
excuse that today’s families are not as in the “olden” days should not be used to avoid
contact.  At least try.  Even if the family is dysfunctional, be sure that notice is given
that help has been sought and that (your) position precludes further help.  

A.  Share with them all questionable concerns.            
    1. topics outside of curriculum
    2. topics that cause (you) discomfort.  

Adults in this position should share with them- counselors/teachers/family- all
questionable concerns.  That would certainly include topics outside of curriculum and
topics that cause (you) discomfort.  Indeed, topics that cause discomfort should raise
all kinds of red flags, and topics outside your curriculum and outside of educational (or
religious, scouting concerns, etc.) boundaries should be examined closely.  Obviously it
is acceptable to help a young person balance their checkbook (etc.) but once the
subject strays to boy-girl/friends, tread carefully!

B.  items/topics that are kept from family/others should be questioned   


The victim may be adamant that nothing be shared with the parents.  That has red flags
all over it.  It is the teacher's responsibility to send students to the counselor and to talk
to the counselor in confidence of the concerns that this issue raises.  Abusers are
however, “in control” and feel that they can handle whatever issues are encountered.  
This egotistical attitude is part of the grooming and influential behavior;   it strengthens
the need for support, and further endeares the victim to the abuser.

    1.  why issues were not shared with family/counselors   


The question of why issues were not shared with family/counselors is another example
of red flags flying.  Young people who will not share with those that are supposed to be
their best advocates are walking much too close to the edge, and that needs to be
recognized.  This is an important concern, much too important to be that left in the
hands of the untrained; certainly much too important to be left in the hands of a
manipulative sex offender.  Consider the  vulnerability.

    2.  secretive dialogue-unethical at best.

Adults should by nature be uncomfortable with secretive dialogue which again is
unethical at best, especially when shared with an adolescent.  Offenders use this
personal dialogue, the sharing of the victim’s inner-most secrets, and even some of
their own, to further strengthen the “bond” that is being built.  As part of the grooming
and manipulative process, a great deal of dependence can be built by being part of the
personal and intimate  aspects of the victim’s life.    Victims will place a great deal of
confidence and trust in the abuser and will be willing to share more and more of their
lives; more and more of the issues that should be directed to qualified personnel.   

C.  Share nothing exclusively with adolescents
D. It is not the role of teacher/coach to be confidante

The fact that teachers should share nothing exclusively with adolescents is not an issue
that abusers recognize. In fact, they  realize that it presents a door into the victim’s
confidence and is used as a means of further manipulation.  It places them in the role of
a teacher/coach confidante, and used in the grooming process.  This fits the MO of the
sexual offender

III.  Addressing the “blind spot” (thank you, Dr.Wiley*)

How are offenders able to carry out this assault with the visibility that teachers have?  
Again, the dynamics of behavior for teachers who are sex offenders are extremely
subtle.  The teacher may have been in the school system for many years.  They may be
well known as a teacher, coach, and leader in the educational community. On the
surface they may be “the last person who would ever offend” in such a manner.  This
“most understanding friend” cover makes a convenient mask for  deviant activities.  It
creates the “blind spot” as alluded to by Dr. Wiley, a researcher of ethical practices for
the educational community.

A. Monitoring daily contact

    1. how often is appropriate?
    2. how much is appropriate?

This blind spot may be no less than an excuse, a cover for a lack of diligence, but it
bears merit and needs to be addressed, with a  word of caution which begs for
repetition.  Abusers use this blind spot on the part of colleagues to hide offending
activities amongst the normal, everyday routine of teaching.  They may even “accent”   
normal activities, such as placing a chair next to or in the open doorway of the room
when the victim is in the room alone with the teacher.  Whenever the victim is in the
room alone, the teacher maintains a high level of visibility and may have the victim visit  
in the room when other students are be present.  Teachers passing through the room
on daily errands come to view the victim's presence as normal.  However, the blind spot
fails at monitoring daily contact because it becomes the norm for the victim to be
visiting on a daily basis.  The blind spot creates a false sense of security, circumventing
the issues of visits; how often is appropriate and how much is appropriate.  In the
distorted thinking, the abuser wants the victim to visit often so that the abuser can
continue to build upon dependence on the teacher and to perpetuate the deviant
activities.

B. Being “nosy” (concerned) about colleagues
1. watch each other’s backs

The word of caution is that  being “nosy” (concerned) about colleagues is an important
issue. Without becoming a witch hunt,  colleagues need to watch each other’s backs
and weigh carefully the activities that are observed.  For all intents and purposes, the
abuser's observed activities will certainly seem within acceptable boundaries.   

2. step-in/interject when questions arise.
a. too much time being spent with one student
b. unaccounted time - missing meetings, events, etc.

Colleagues and supervisors and even casual friends, need to step-in/interject when
questions arise about too much time being spent with one student or when there is
unaccounted time - missing meetings, events, etc.  Offenders will take advantage of the
blind spot  by carrying out all of their duties and they may participate in  many extra
things in and around the school community.  They remain highly visible and available.  
Sex offenders live two interwoven lives.  But that always leaves room for compromise;
it is difficult to lead two lives without making errors.  When questions arise, when there
appears to be personal turmoil, others need to be appropriately nosy and carefully
assess what they see.  It would be very advisable to share the concern with others such
as the department chairperson or a counselor.  The more input and the more persons
involved, the better.  And of course the school busy-body...you may be starting to
appreciate the difference.
All of these factors contribute; they are all part of the MO for offenders, some more
accomplished than others.  And there are many other factors that yet have to be
researched.  It is critically important that adults maintain boundaries/relative
“positions” with the youth with whom they are working.  If there are rules and
regulations specific to a job or position, they are there for reasons that need not be
questioned.  Unfortunately, the sex offender amends rules and regulations as s/he sees
fit and is in such a state of distorted thinking that the behaviors are viewed as normal.  
“He who needs help the most, sees it the least.”  For this reason, behaviors must be
questioned or in the least, noted (documented).

IV. Tripping over the “enabler”
A. Parent’s permissions - “blanket” permissions for discussions

The offender will often use the ploy of 'covering their posterior' by contacting the
victim’s mother on several occasions and gaining greater and greater latitude in the
topics that are “OK” to share with the victim.  Here the offender will use the enabler  to
reinforce the deviant activities.  In gaining a parent’s permission - a “blanket”
permission for discussions - the offender enables  themselves  to continue abusing the
victim.  This blanket permission gives “permission” to continue the activities.  This
obviously is an aspect of the distorted thinking; that they somehow have obtained an
“OK” from mom to continue the activities - of which she knows nothing.

1. topics must be censored/restricted to an adult’s area/subject
2. other professionals referred

This is a very common “trap” for lack of a better descriptor.  More than one educator
has confirmed that there are no guidelines, except one own's comfort level, for the
topics that are appropriate or “safe” for teachers and other adults dealing with young
people.  It is human nature to be compassionate and the stories are many where
teachers have taken it upon themselves to be helpful and supportive.  The fact that
there are few reported cases of abuse, underscores the validity of the teacher acting in
this capacity.  But even one sexually assaulted student is one too many and the
potential is always there.  To avoid this trap in the main, topics must be
censored/restricted to an adult’s area/subject and when it is realized and/or
determined that boundaries are being nudged, other professionals need to be referred.  
It is much too easy to listen “just once more” or to “just one more issue” with which
the adult may feel s/he can help.  This is the bait for the "trap". (It is not to be implied
that any student 'traps' a teacher but that offenders build this ensnaring scenario to
emerg both the victim and themselves in the deviant cycle). At the same time, teachers,
scout leaders, coaches, etc., have to be available with a shoulder for our young people.  
It is not an easy line to navigate.  I’m sure you know.  Maybe some of you have been
there, but you didn’t offend....

B. Teens embellish, look for support, acceptance, reinforcement
1. are very emotional
2. have little/no experience base

To compound the right decision being made, teens embellish, look for support,
acceptance, reinforcement, etc., leading to a compromise being easily made as an adult
attempts to deal with the young person, especially teens who are very emotional and   
very demanding, especially in subtle ways.  They have little or no experience base and
they react accordingly.  The offender's  influence over the victim is due in large part to
the lack of experience in dealing with adults that enable, and certainly the victim's
experience is limited in terms of being manipulated by an adult with a sexual deviance.

V. Maintain boundaries/relative “positions”
A. Avoid empowering
B. Avoid codependency

Two powerful influences that can be avoided, especially for young teens, are
empowering and codependency.  Teens are especially vulnerable to feeling the power
of control over situations, certainly where the power is exerted over adults; the “puppy
eyes” syndrome and the quick tears, innocent enuff - probably.  The sex offender will
“give ground” and listen to input from the victim, acting on suggestions and decisions
much as if the input came from another adult. In that way, offenders   empower  thier
victims by acting upon their suggestions and giving the victim credence as a peer.  This
bolsters their feelings of power  and strengthens the endearment to the offender.  With
this sort of compromise, there is an apparent codependency between the victim and the
offender.  This in turn strengthens the hold on the victim  as s/he becomes more and
more comfortable with the support generated by the codependency.

Next:  The Sex Offender's Mode of Operation.










* Comprehensive Character-Building Classroom,  Lori Sandford Wiley, PhD., Longwood
Communiations, DeBary, FL., 1998.
Page 5
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